3 Tips to Handle a Narcissist's "Smear Campaign"

3 Tips to Handle a Narcissist's "Smear Campaign"

Just because a woman’s relationship with a narcissistic abuser ends, does not mean the abuse itself will stop. In fact, a separation or divorce may give an abuser the impression he does not have to “play nice” to keep his target attached to him, and he may continue to abuse with less restraint than before.

When a woman begins to distance herself from her abuser, she limits the supply of attention he once received from her. He may go looking for validation elsewhere, and begin to discredit and defame his target to “win” others to his side (especially friends and family). This is what’s known as a “smear campaign.”

If this is happening to you, it can be so frustrating and disappointing (I mean, these people were a part of your life too). You may be wondering, “What do I do?”

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Abuse is Idolatry: 5 Tips for Going "No Contact" as a Biblical Way to Deal with Abuse

Abuse is Idolatry: 5 Tips for Going "No Contact" as a Biblical Way to Deal with Abuse

If you’ve been in a relationship with an emotionally abusive man, you have no doubt described the experience as living with “Jekyll and Hyde.” One day, he’s charming Dr. Jekyll. But all of a sudden, something shifts and vicious Mr. Hyde is revealed.

This is a hallmark of narcissistic personality disorder (also known as narcissism).

It’s a dizzying and exhausting experience, one few people can understand unless they have experienced it. However, once a target of abuse is able to identify these shifts in behavior (and what fuels them), she has the ability to distance herself emotionally from his destabilizing tactics. Read on to see our 5 tips for going no contact as a biblical response to abuse.

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Am I Co- Dependent? The Consequences of the Codependency Myth in Abusive Relationships

Am I Co- Dependent? The Consequences of the Codependency Myth in Abusive Relationships

It can be hard to make sense of the relationship dynamics in an abusive marriage. There’s a natural tendency to think in terms of cause-and-effect logic, in which the wife is given some responsibility for her husband’s abuse, due to being a “low performing” or co-dependent spouse.

Not only does that kind of thinking hurt victims, it isn’t biblical.

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How Do I Know if My Abusive Husband is Really Changing?

How Do I Know if My Abusive Husband is Really Changing?

One of the most difficult aspects of breaking the cycle of abuse lies in a woman’s ability to rightly identify what is happening to her as abuse in the first place. However, even when she can begin to describe her husband’s behavior as abusive, a new struggle for discernment of the truth begins.

I mean, knowing whether or not a man is changing seems so subjective, right?

Thankfully, the Bible offers us a very descriptive account of what true change and repentance looks like, taking what seems subjective and creating a standard by which women can properly assess what’s really going on.

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5 Things Your Church Can Do RIGHT NOW to Stop Domestic Violence

5 Things Your Church Can Do RIGHT NOW to Stop Domestic Violence

In Part I of this series, we discussed the raging epidemic of domestic violence in Christian churches and pastors’ self-reported unpreparedness in handling it. And while ongoing education is the mission of organizations like Agape Moms, we’ve developed a list of five meaningful steps Christian leaders and pastors can take RIGHT NOW to safeguard their congregations and help families struggling with these issues.

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By the Numbers: The Silent Epidemic of Domestic Abuse in Christian Churches

By the Numbers: The Silent Epidemic of Domestic Abuse in Christian Churches

Domestic abuse is an insidious, silent epidemic in the Christian community. Sadly, 37% of pastors surveyed say they believe that domestic and sexual violence does NOT occur in their congregations.

With nearly 1 in 3 American women suffering domestic abuse at some point in their lifetimes, It doesn’t seem likely that nearly 40% of churches are completely free of this issue.

The greater likelihood is that these churches either don’t know how to identify cases of abuse, or do not have the kind of culture in which victims are encouraged to come forward to seek help and healing. In the meantime, women and children are terrorized by the effects of intimate partner abuse as victims struggle without guidance and support from a spiritual community.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. But identifying the fact that there is a problem is the first step.

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Is All Divorce Sinful? What does the Bible Say About Divorce?

Is All Divorce Sinful? What does the Bible Say About Divorce?

I suffered in an emotionally abusive relationship for the better part of two decades because I believed that all divorce was sinful. After all, doesn't Malachi 2:16 say, "God hates divorce?”

There’s actually some controversy as to the translation of that phrase. And while that’s a subject for another post, we have observed that at minimum, these words are often removed from their context and applied to implicate a prohibition on all divorce. With so much confusion, how can we discern what the Bible has to say on this subject?

Most often, the truth of one verse of Scripture is evident throughout the whole of the Bible. To really understand God’s heart on a given subject, it’s most appropriate to examine the Bible as a whole and discover what the entire collection of verses on the topic reveals. And while we don’t have the space for that in one little blog post, perhaps one of the most descriptive accounts of divorce in the Bible is God’s own divorce of Israel.

What?!

Yep. In the Book of Jeremiah, God Himself is described as divorcing His bride, the nation of Israel.

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