Single Moms are CHOSEN

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Okay girl, let’s get real. As a single mom, I know you’ve felt forgotten about. Overlooked. Maybe even shamed. You may have been told that being a single mom marks you as a failure, and (gasp!) you may have even believed it. 

But what if I told you that God has a special place in His heart, just for single moms? That you have been CHOSEN by Him for a unique and specific purpose?

I know what you’re thinking- “Lord, couldn’t you have CHOSEN me to like, win the lottery?” As great as that sounds, what God has chosen you for is something so important, so valuable, that winning the lottery just wouldn’t cut it.

And He’s going to use the brokenness of your singleness to do it.

The God Who Sees Single Moms {Hagar’s Story}

If you’ve never spent much time in Genesis, I want to give you a quick rundown on Hagar. She’s the Bible’s first recorded single mom. It all started when Abraham and his first wife, Sarah, were not able to conceive a child. They were getting a little…well, elderly…so in her impatience, Sarah decided to give her maidservant, Hagar, to Abraham as a wife. The plan was Hagar would have child by Abraham, and Sarah would turn around and raise the baby as her own.

I know you can see where this is going. You gotta know the Bible is so much better than reality TV.

When you think about your all time backfires, this idea of Sarah’s tops the list. Hagar does become pregnant, but she sort of holds it over Sarah’s head, Gloaty McGloaterson style. Sarah ends up retaliating and abusing Hagar so badly that Hagar runs away to escape the maltreatment.

Pregnant and homeless, Hagar is huddled up weeping beside a well when she has an encounter with THE Almighty God.

Now let me tell you something. This part of Hagar’s story appears in Genesis 16. Do you know how many people have had a one-to-one experience with God to this point in human history? Not many. That’s what makes Hagar’s story so special.

God personally comforts Hagar, and tells her this isn’t the end of the story for her; He plans to bless her with innumerable descendants. To make sure she never forgets, she’s instructed to name her child Ishmael, which means “God hears.”

After this visitation, Hagar is stunned. She’s thinking, “Who am I that God would show me His goodness like this?!” It was clear now that God had a specific calling and purpose for her life. Hagar knew, without a doubt, that God saw her– not as a cast off woman, but as a treasured daughter with great value. After this encounter, Hagar began referring to God by a special name, “El Roi.” 

In Hebrew, El Roi means “the God who sees me.”

(To a single mom, I know you know being seen is EVERYTHING. Does our God know us or what?!)

Hagar knew, without a doubt, that God saw her– not as a cast off woman, but as a treasured daughter with great value.-2.jpg

Chosen for More

Okay, okay- so at this point, Hagar wasn’t exactly single. But she returns to Sarah and Abraham and things get worse. To stop the madness, Abraham sends Hagar and the child Ishmael away for good. He packs them up and casts them off into the wilderness, with little more than a boxed lunch and a pitcher of water between the two of them.

Before you get all mad at Abraham, God had told him that He would protect Hagar and the boy. God had big plans for Hagar and Ishmael, and would use their exile to see it all through. And even when Hagar thought this was the end for her and Ishmael, in the wandering and isolation God revealed Himself to them in even greater ways.

(You can see Genesis 21 for the conclusion of the story, but let’s just say God makes good on His promise to Hagar.)

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Divorce brings so much heartbreak. So much sorrow. So much confusion. It’s a spiritual wandering not unlike what Hagar experienced in the desert. In this kind of situation, it’s easy to feel like God has forgotten about you. That you’re not worth very much alone. That you’re done. Disqualified. Finito.

But in all I have learned in the wake of my own divorce, I can tell you definitively that NONE of that is true.

God has been gentle in graciously pursuing me in what became a season of all out desperation. He has embraced my soul and whispered life-giving words of encouragement, pulling me from the clutches of the darkest night. Before my divorce, I had heard that God loved me. And I think I knew it, kinda. But I always had that twinge of doubt, that I could ever really be loved that much.

But In this brokenness, I have realized that God has seen me, wanted me, all along. He has desired this level of closeness with me from the start; IT’S WHY HE CREATED ME. And it’s a depth of relationship I didn’t even know I wanted, NEEDED, until my life came apart. He CHOSE to reveal Himself to me, to the extent that now, I have no more doubt as to Who He Is or who I am in His sight.

And you can get there too.

When I finally realized that my divorce was the very thing God was using to bring me the most incredible blessing of knowing Him intimately, it changed how I thought of myself. For the first time, I didn’t feel like a discarded wife anymore.

I felt like a chosen daughter of the Most High King.

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Pain to Purpose

We often think of figures from the Bible as really holy, perfect people. Like why would God bother to appear to just any old sinner? But Hagar wasn’t perfect. She made mistakes. And even after God gave her the most precious promises, she doubted. But God kept showing Himself to her. He didn’t chastise her, He blessed her with His presence and a new purpose for her life. He wanted Hagar to know she was seen, and that her life had great value to Him.

And the same is true for you.

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In the process of healing, pain can give way to great pleasure, as God reveals a new purpose for our lives. Better than what we lost. Better than what was left behind. I know it can be hard to see, but since the days of Hagar, God has been choosing single moms for greater things. And if you’ll press into His love, He will show you that He truly is, “The God Who Sees.”

Have you felt discarded? How have you noticed God revealing His love for you? We’re here to listen- leave us a comment and tell us more about your story.

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