Many women in abusive situations have found they just cannot get the support and help they need from their local church when it comes to confronting an abusive, narcissistic husband. At Agape Moms, we hear countless stories of women who have found that addressing abuse with marriage counselors and/or pastors doesn't didn't always result in a healed relationship, and sometimes, it actually made it worse.Read More
The word "submissive" does not mean "punching bag." Biblical submission is about being a husband's helpmate. And if your husband is involved with serious sin, a compassionate helpmate will not stand idly by while Satan destroys the man.
Submission is not for the faint of heart.
Admittedly, a Christian wife may find herself uncertain about what to do after a one-to-one conversation with her husband doesn't change his sinful behavior. But take heart- Jesus tells us there's more that can be done.Read More
Stopping the cycle involves disengaging your emotions from the situation to stop the abuse itself. Proverbs 26:20 says, "For lack of wood the fire goes out," (NIV) While we often want to defend ourselves and convince our abusive spouse that we have their best interests in mind, doing so only sends a signal to an argumentative man that he might be on to something. To further avoid fueling the fire of his abusive rage and leave an abusive conversation, there are three critical steps you must take.Read More
But without warning, my "ah ha" moment finally came. In the midst of a conversation I was having with my mother about yet another abusive episode, she looked at me puzzled and said, "Doesn't it scare you when he says that?"
I panicked a little when my obvious answer was no.
I explained to Mother that this was normal for us and that I knew he would come back around. He always did. Then she said something that changed my perspective forever.Read More
These women often have the same thing in common. They are haunted by years of endless broken promises. Second chances became third chances and fourth chances. Hundreds of chances (and perhaps decades) later, these women often eventually feel that their efforts were in vain. Forgiveness repeatedly gave way to the devastating pain and betrayal of perpetual abuse, and what remained was the hollow shell of a marriage, if the marriage survived at all.
Why does the cycle go on this way? We believe we can help. We choose to see the good in our husbands. We believe in their best intentions. We might even understand the traumas that have taught them to behave this way. But sometimes, it all falls apart and we are left without answers. In turn, this may leave some of us feeling we are without hope. But girlfriend, God’s not done with you.Read More
How can you truly help an abusive husband?
In the case of true emotional abuse, you are "alcohol to the alcoholic." As an alcoholic spirals out of control, eventually he or she cannot hide the drunkenness that ultimately accompanies their addiction. However, an emotional abuser is not subject to the crushing reality of his power addiction when his victim remains silent. Silence perpetuates abuse by shielding the abuser from the natural consequences of his actions.Read More