5 Essential Tips to Heal from Divorce

5 Essential Tips to Heal from Divorce

Truly healing from the heartbreak of divorce starts with shifting your thoughts away from the man who was your earthly husband, and turning your heart to the Lord, who desires to be your Heavenly Husband.

Closeness with God is an exceedingly precious experience because God’s love is extravagant, beyond anything any man could offer. What’s more, our God doesn’t just want to completely heal you from your divorce (as good as that is). No, His desire is even greater– that you would discover a brilliant new life as the woman He made you to be all along. The woman He made you to be before the divorce.

Before the wedding.

Hold up. I know what you’re thinking– “Heavenly Husband? How do I even do get close to God like that?” We’re going to break it all down in our 5 Essential Tips to Heal from Divorce.

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From Hurt to Healing: God is Your Husband

From Hurt to Healing: God is Your Husband

Divorce is a two part trauma; not only are you losing a long term relationship, but you probably also feel that you’re losing part of yourself.

And it’s so in-your-face, even in the simplest ways. Like how long did you identify yourself as “So-and-So’s Wife” or “Mrs. Fill-in-the-Blank”? Every check. Every field trip form. Every doctor’s appointment. And then, all of a sudden, you stop. Stop identifying yourself that way. Stop being that version of yourself.

Stop being what felt like you. But if we’re honest, that process probably began a long time ago.

As time moves on, you’ll begin to see a glimmer of yourself as just yourself. Just you. And the most beautiful adventure begins. The adventure to becoming the woman you were meant to be, all along.

There’s no quick fix to recovering from a divorce; it takes time. But healing well is the key to a hope filled, satisfying future.

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Single Moms are CHOSEN

Single Moms are CHOSEN

Okay girl, let’s get real. As a single mom, I know you’ve felt forgotten about. Overlooked. Maybe even shamed. You may have been told that being a single mom marks you as a failure, and (gasp!) you may have even believed it. 

But what if I told you that God has a special place in His heart, just for single moms? That you have been CHOSEN by Him for a unique and specific purpose?

I know what you’re thinking- “Lord, couldn’t you have CHOSEN me to like, win the lottery?” As great as that sounds, what God has chosen you for is something so important, so valuable, that winning the lottery just wouldn’t cut it.

And He’s going to use the brokenness of your singleness to do it.

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Am I Co- Dependent? The Consequences of the Codependency Myth in Abusive Relationships

Am I Co- Dependent? The Consequences of the Codependency Myth in Abusive Relationships

It can be hard to make sense of the relationship dynamics in an abusive marriage. There’s a natural tendency to think in terms of cause-and-effect logic, in which the wife is given some responsibility for her husband’s abuse, due to being a “low performing” or co-dependent spouse.

Not only does that kind of thinking hurt victims, it isn’t biblical.

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Identifying False Recovery in Abusive Relationships

Identifying False Recovery in Abusive Relationships

It’s not uncommon for a woman in an abusive relationship to believe at times that perhaps her husband is finally on the right track and making meaningful progress. Eagerly she may even declare, “This time, it’s different.”

And for a time, it may seem so. But when another abusive episode occurs, she’s left wondering what went wrong.

What she’s just experienced is known as a “false recovery.” Read on to learn more about identifying false recoveries and what to do about them.

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Is All Divorce Sinful? What does the Bible Say About Divorce?

Is All Divorce Sinful? What does the Bible Say About Divorce?

I suffered in an emotionally abusive relationship for the better part of two decades because I believed that all divorce was sinful. After all, doesn't Malachi 2:16 say, "God hates divorce?”

There’s actually some controversy as to the translation of that phrase. And while that’s a subject for another post, we have observed that at minimum, these words are often removed from their context and applied to implicate a prohibition on all divorce. With so much confusion, how can we discern what the Bible has to say on this subject?

Most often, the truth of one verse of Scripture is evident throughout the whole of the Bible. To really understand God’s heart on a given subject, it’s most appropriate to examine the Bible as a whole and discover what the entire collection of verses on the topic reveals. And while we don’t have the space for that in one little blog post, perhaps one of the most descriptive accounts of divorce in the Bible is God’s own divorce of Israel.

What?!

Yep. In the Book of Jeremiah, God Himself is described as divorcing His bride, the nation of Israel.

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Another Man Helped Me Escape My Abusive Marriage (It's Not What You Think)

Another Man Helped Me Escape My Abusive Marriage (It's Not What You Think)

But without warning, my "ah ha" moment finally came. In the midst of a conversation I was having with my mother about yet another abusive episode, she looked at me puzzled and said, "Doesn't it scare you when he says that?"

I panicked a little when my obvious answer was no.

I explained to Mother that this was normal for us and that I knew he would come back around. He always did. Then she said something that changed my perspective forever.

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Feeling Like You Have Wasted Years on a Failed Marriage? Here's Help.

Feeling Like You Have Wasted Years on a Failed Marriage? Here's Help.

These women often have the same thing in common. They are haunted by years of endless broken promises. Second chances became third chances and fourth chances. Hundreds of chances (and perhaps decades) later, these women often eventually feel that their efforts were in vain. Forgiveness repeatedly gave way to the devastating pain and betrayal of perpetual abuse, and what remained was the hollow shell of a marriage, if the marriage survived at all.

Why does the cycle go on this way? We believe we can help. We choose to see the good in our husbands. We believe in their best intentions. We might even understand the traumas that have taught them to behave this way. But sometimes, it all falls apart and we are left without answers. In turn, this may leave some of us feeling we are without hope. But girlfriend, God’s not done with you.

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The Best Thing You Can Do to Help Your Abusive Husband

The Best Thing You Can Do to Help Your Abusive Husband

How can you truly help an abusive husband?

In the case of true emotional abuse, you are "alcohol to the alcoholic." As an alcoholic spirals out of control, eventually he or she cannot hide the drunkenness that ultimately accompanies their addiction. However, an emotional abuser is not subject to the crushing reality of his power addiction when his victim remains silent. Silence perpetuates abuse by shielding the abuser from the natural consequences of his actions.

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Sure, You're a Mom {But Who Does God Say You Really Are?}

Sure, You're a Mom {But Who Does God Say You Really Are?}

It seems to me that a lot of books and blogs for Christian mamas are written with the ideal Christian woman in mind. But if I'm looking at the women around me, these assumptions just don't seem to reflect the place where so many of us are in real life. We're unhappily married. We're single. We're divorced. We're stepmoms with messy, complicated families. We work outside the home. We get calls from the principal. We have kids (or husbands) with serious problems. We have serious problems. We curse. We drink. We yell. And we might not have set foot in a church in a quite a while. Read on to discover just how the Bible addresses this and who God says you truly are.

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